Had I known…

Last night’s dinner conversation:

Me: This bow tie pasta reminds me of college. Did you ever eat the pasta in school?
Doug: Hmm, not sure. Did you eat it often?
Me: Yes, all the time. Don’t you remember the garlic bread?
Doug: No. Oh, wait, was it cut in small pieces?
Me: Yes, I ate it all the time.

[a long pause]

Me: I wish we had been friends in college. Or at least that you remembered me.
Doug: It’s not that I don’t remember you, I remember you. I just don’t remember you coming to my dorm room.
Me: (after telling him what his room looked like as proof I was there) You basically ignored me.
Doug: Well, had I known you were going to be my future wife, I might have paid more attention to you.