Last weekend, Doug and I spent our time relaxing and wandering around town getting last minute things done. We were home on Sunday night when I posted a twitter message: “Watching the Olympic Games, wishing I would go into labor.” Be careful what you wish for! At about 1:30am I woke up, needing to use the bathroom. What I didn’t expect was my “water” leaking. I went in and woke up Doug. It took a lot of convincing him that I was truly going into labor. I was, after all, two weeks early, and had just been to the doctor a few days before. 

Doug called the doctor and our doula to let them know. Our doctor said to go to the hospital to “get checked” at about 9:00am if I still hadn’t had contractions. Our goal was to labor at home as long as possible before going to the hospital. Our doula had encouraged us to get some sleep since it might be a while before contractions started. 

As soon as we got off the phone with the doula I felt my first contraction. It was 2:15am. Doug still wasn’t convinced that this was real labor. I was. My contractions were very irregular, but boy were they strong. We called the doula again about two hours later to give her an update. By then I was trying all different positions trying to get comfortable. At 5:30am I wanted to get into the shower. We called our doula and asked her to come over. 

At this point I had decided that maybe our natural birth plan wasn’t for me. I kept telling Doug that I was done and wanted to go to the hospital for the epidural. He wanted me to stay in the shower as long as possible and wait for our doula to arrive. I just wanted out of the shower and get to the hospital! By the time our doula got there she also thought the hospital was a good idea. Even though my contractions were irregular she thought we should go.

On the way to the hospital my contractions were beyond painful. I knew that I couldn’t do it anymore, and was fine with the epidural. I had given it my all. We were almost to the hospital when my “water” officially broke, yep in the car. We arrived at the hospital at 6:55am. I was wheeled up to the labor and delivery unit and put into a room. A nurse immediately checked me, and with a slight panic in her voice, she told everyone there I was fully dilated and ready to push. Our doctor had just been to the hospital and was on his way back. He arrived just in time to deliver Emma.  

Emma Maxine Bowman was born on August 11th at 7:55am. Total labor time was 5 1/2 hours. I couldn’t have wished for a shorter labor. I’m just grateful for all the people who helped bring her into this world safely.

I’ve known for a while now that 37 is this magical number. Though due dates in the U.S. are usually predicted for 40 weeks from the point of conception, at 37 weeks, lungs are fully developed, and the baby is ready to enter this world without added risks that come with premature birth.

Emotions for me have been all over the map. I’ve been excited and eager to meet our first child. Curious as to what she’ll look like and what kind of personality she’ll have. I’ve shed a few tears thinking about the beautiful day when I’ll hold her for the first time. I have also panicked at the thought of being a father, and all the responsibility that comes with that role. That a helpless newborn baby will soon depend on me and my wife for everything both freaks me out, and gives me a sense of awe at the same time.

Over the last week, time is starting to slow. I never thought that possible given how fast the majority of this pregnancy has flown by. As we start to live each day as though it could be the day, time is actually slowing down. Despite 12 weeks turning to 18 weeks to 24 weeks to 32 weeks all happening in the blink of an eye, now, time is dragging on. Cam is getting more uncomfortable every day. And though she’s been fearful of the pain and experience of labor, wanting to procrastinate it as long as possible, even she is anticipating the end of being pregnant.

As we wait our baby’s arrival, Cam and I are suddenly faced with the realization that these are the last weeks and days that we will be alone as a couple. Just the two of us. That we can go anywhere and do anything without a responsibility or accountability to anyone but ourselves. And that realization is bittersweet. We’re trying to get out and do as much as we can. Eat a quiet, romantic dinner out for date night. Or enjoy a movie at a theater. I’ve loved spending these last few years with Cam. I don’t think it’s often that a man gets a woman as wonderful as Cam all to himself. She’s been my companion, my support, and my best friend through everything, and I love her dearly. I know all this won’t go away after our baby is born. But even at times in the future, when family or a babysitter steps in to help, our “alone time” won’t be without the constant thought of our love and concern for our daughter.

And from the moment she is born, we will no longer just be a couple, but a family. That will change everything.

The Red Mango in Palo Alto is located right on University Ave. It has a cute logo that’s hard to miss. Another way to identify it is the long line that extends down the block! The interior is very simple. They have a few tables and chairs inside and out.

What makes them unique is the simplicity. You order either an original or green tea yogurt in small, medium, or large and add toppings that you like. Some of the toppings included dark chocolate, crushed graham crackers, almonds, Fruity Pebbles, Cocoa Pebbles, Cap’n Crunch, and just about every fresh fruit you can think of. The greatest part of the experience is that it’s REAL yogurt. There are no artificial flavors or colors. And it tastes like… yogurt! There is no guilt in eating as much as you want. I typically don’t eat all of mine when I get TCBY but I devoured every last bit of this one! I can’t wait to go back.

On a side note, Red Mango is owned by Yul Kwon, the Survivor: Cook Islands winner!

Palo Alto | map
429 University Ave.
Palo Alto, CA 94301
Phone: 650 324 1811
sun-thurs: 11am-11:30pm
fri-sat: 11am-12:30am

We started off with a nice crisp “summer salad” with a champagne vinaigrette. We actually ate the entire salad. It was light, refreshing, and simple. A great start to what was ahead. When they brought out the next course, the fried chicken, my mouth started to water. It was exactly what I had hoped for. It was crispy on the outside and moist on the inside. I don’t typically eat dark meat but I devoured it as well as the white meat. I was a little skeptical when they served “lemon” infused mashed potatoes with peas, but I was far from disappointed. The mashed potatoes were perfect with just the right amount of lemon.

Next, they brought out a cheese plate. It was two different types of cheese, walnuts, and an amazingly flavorful honey. I normally don’t eat cheese, but had to try it for the experience. I was willing to try anything they brought out; it was too good not to eat.

Even though we were there for the fried chicken, I wasn’t the least bit disappointed in the dessert selection. The dessert that night was a homemade ice cream sandwich. It was two chocolate chip cookies held together by rich vanilla ice cream. I couldn’t even hold it without getting bits of chocolate all over my fingers! I wanted so much to eat the entire cookie, but I was too full. My husband, on the other hand, managed just fine.

I would go back to Ad Hoc in a second. It would be fun to go there with friends. If you have the opportunity to go, I would highly recommend the fried chicken night, if you can find out ahead of time when it is that week.

6476 Washington St 
Yountville, CA 94599
(707) 944-2487
www.adhocrestaurant.com

True to Vegas style, our original experience with Bouchon/Las Vegas was with a much larger restaurant with endless tables and surrounded by the massive illusions of the Venetian Resort facade. This version in Yountville is much smaller and cozier, and in our opinion, much preferable to the Vegas hyperbole.

Bouchon is tightly packed with maybe a dozen or so tables, and a few more placed just outside the front windows. It’s an intimate, cozy ambience, with throwback Jazz music bumbling along in the background. Not long after we were seated, we couldn’t spot a spare table anywhere in sight, and this was on a Tuesday night.

The food was delectable. Starting off with bread from Bouchon’s bakery set the bar high. A mixed green salad with warm goat cheese had my husband glowing with satisfaction. My onion soup was good, but average. It was extremely hot, and as is typical of onion soup, covered in a layer of bubbly, melted cheese that made it difficult to eat. My husband finished the soup for me without problem.

For our main dishes, I had the tartine du jour, an open-faced sandwich on toasted bread with sliced steak and Roquefort cheese, accompanied by always-yummy frites. My husband had the poached salmon with fingerling potatoes, applewood smoked bacon, and artichokes. The salmon was poached in olive oil, so it was extra delicate and light.

For dessert, we didn’t mess around. OMG, the profiteroles with vanilla ice cream came with chocolate sauce that they drizzle over right there at the table. These were awesome, and a perfect ending to our Bouchon experience.

The only minor annoyance was the table of 4 tourists next to us. All four of them ordered the steak + frites, most likely because that was the only thing they recognized on the menu that sounded appealing to them. But such is the dining experience in just about any place in Napa… tourists who have no idea what a gem they’ve just found.

We would return to Bouchon in a heartbeat. We just might have to wait behind lots of other anticipating patrons that want to eat here too.

6534 Washington Street
Yountville, CA 94599
(707) 944-8037
www.bouchonbistro.com

Obviously, once you anticipate certain changes in life, you notice and pay attention to other people going through the same change. Similar to what happens when you acquire a new car (or a car new to you), you tend to notice other similar cars on the road too. You make instant comparisons, identifying the similarities and differences. I think my intrigue comes more from hoping I’ll learn something.

I’ve never paid so much attention to other pregnant women. And I think I’m even more fascinated with families that have babies or toddlers. I’m interested in what they do, what products they use, how they hold their child, and how they react to certain situations and behaviors. I wish I could be a fly on the wall and see everything these people do. Mainly so I can learn what works well, and what doesn’t work so well.

I just hope these people I see don’t mistake my own wide-eyed, can’t-look-away stares as anything more than pure curiosity and wonderment of how in the world I’m going to handle the same situation.

Me: This bow tie pasta reminds me of college. Did you ever eat the pasta in school?
Doug: Hmm, not sure. Did you eat it often?
Me: Yes, all the time. Don’t you remember the garlic bread?
Doug: No. Oh, wait, was it cut in small pieces?
Me: Yes, I ate it all the time.

[a long pause]

Me: I wish we had been friends in college. Or at least that you remembered me.
Doug: It’s not that I don’t remember you, I remember you. I just don’t remember you coming to my dorm room.
Me: (after telling him what his room looked like as proof I was there) You basically ignored me.
Doug: Well, had I known you were going to be my future wife, I might have paid more attention to you.

Doug and I were getting ready for bed tonight and she was moving a bit. I asked Doug if he wanted to feel her. But unfortunately, each time I ask Doug to feel her, she often stops moving. Maybe it’s something about Doug’s calming presence.

Doug put on some music, but we didn’t get much activity. Then he put on the Barenaked Ladies song, “Shopping,” turned up the volume a little, and all of a sudden, she really started to move and kick. It was hilarious. He’d stop the music, and she’d stop moving. Start it, and she’d turn into a gymnast again. We were laughing, but felt we should at least play something that might stimulate her little brain. We tried several different Mozart/Vivaldi selections. But she wasn’t having it. We played BNL again and she started dancing all over again! I think we’re in trouble.

For those who know me really really well, you also know that I’m a hypochondriac. Taking pills is not my forte. To keep my anxiety under control, my doctor prescribed Zoloft for me. I would break my already small dose of Zoloft, into fourths. I don’t recommend doing this without your doctor knowing. Since I was a frequent visitor to the doctor, he wasn’t surprised at my own self-dosage program.

First of all, my anxiety was bad. Sometimes, my anxiety attacks hit me out of nowhere and would last for three to four hours. Anyone who has anxiety knows it feels much longer than that. I let it take over my life. So much, that it prohibited me from doing things I normally do. Traveling was out of the question. Being left alone? Forget it. I was not only ruining my own life, but it was starting to affect my relationship with Doug. I finally had to do something, anything. But nothing seemed to help until the Zoloft. I don’t know why I fought it for so long. The Zoloft worked very quickly. I was able to see things much clearer and start working on the damage the anxiety had caused.

When Doug and I decided we were ready to expand our family, that’s when I started cutting up my pills. Again, I can’t stress enough that this is NOT recommended. However, I did this over a long period of time. I didn’t want to be on any medications while trying to get pregnant. Once I was off the medication completely, I kept waiting and waiting for an anxiety attack. I have been off the medication for almost a year and I am still waiting. I’m not cured by any means, I still have issues. But (so far) I am attack free.

I am fearful that my anxiety is going to come back full force sometime during the pregnancy. We discussed this with our doctor. He let us know that, if needed, I can go back on Zoloft at any time. But I want a birth as natural as possible. This is why we have decided to hire a Doula to be there for us for the birth of our daughter. I’ve done extensive research, and feel this will be best for us.

I’m going to try my best to go natural, with the realization that it may not happen. But, at least we will have extra support from someone trained to work with people like us. Having a baby isn’t just about me, it’s about Doug too. I want him to have the best possible experience. This is where our Doula comes in. I really let go of the worry and extra stress of labor knowing that I will have someone there to support both of us.

If you don’t know, a Doula is a professional who provides emotional, professional, and physical support during and after labor. She does not provide any medical support. She just compliments the labor process. She makes sure that both my needs, and Doug’s are taken care of. Our doctor is a big fan of Doula support. He was the one who referred several Doulas to us.

I may still be crazy for wanting a natural childbirth. I’m sure my sister already started a pool on how long I’ll last before I give in and start screaming for an epidural. But for some reason, I don’t feel scared about the birth anymore. I actually feel empowered and positive about having a baby.